The Call that Changed Everything

 I have been wanting to start this blog for a while. I have made many excuses as to why I shouldn't but, ultimately it has been fear keeping from me from beginning this journey. You see, in my culture being divorced can be pretty scary. There isn't a lot of information or articles to read for those who are in my situation because in my culture we believe in eternal marriage. So, when I ended up separated and a single parent it was down right daunting. I would like to share my story and how I got to where I am today.

The call that changed my life came on July 17. I had just gotten to my parents house to visit them for my birthday week. My mom and I were out running errands with the kids and he called. I knew something was wrong, very wrong. We had barely talked for a week and I wasn't getting any text messages even though J, P and I had just flown from Alberta to BC the day before. It was really unusual behaviour so, when the call came and I heard his voice I knew in that moment that something had changed.

Let's go back to the beginning. R and I met in an elevator. I was visiting my best friend in Vancouver for her birthday and had just seen my ex boyfriend for the first time in a year. We went outside so that I could decompress and there he was, in the elevator. We couldn't take our eyes off of each other. Their building had a pool outside and there was a big commotion because some intoxicated teenagers had climbed the fence and jumped in the pool. As we were standing around watching the security try and get these teens out of the pool he says to me “you have really nice legs.” What a pick-up line. I was flattered and thought he had a really great smile so the conversation continued. It never really stopped from there. We fell madly in love and everything moved very quickly. Within a month we were living together and then six months later we were married. I look back on those days very fondly. When telling the story of how we met he used to say “she descended into my life like an angel from the heavens.” We were young, well I was, and crazy.

Fast forward back to July 17^th. Two kids later, a big move to another province and his job that kept us apart more often than we were together and here we were. Our relationship hadn't been going well for a while. I wouldn't say I was surprised when the call came but I was devastated. I was heartbroken for our children. I never dreamed that at twenty-four years old I would be headed for divorce and a life of single parenting. I never thought my husband would call me and say “I want to get a divorce.” As I write those words down again I can still feel the hurt and the fear that I felt in that moment. My marriage was over and there was nothing I could do to fix it.

That call came almost eight months ago and I can't even begin to describe what I have learned about myself, my children and about life since then. I am so grateful for all the support I have received along the way from friends and family. I couldn't have gotten through any of what this past year has thrown at me without them. I hope to explore some of those moments right here with you. I plan on sharing some of the deepest moments of sorrow as well as the moments of complete and utter joy. I have had plenty of ups and downs and I hope that my experiences and what I have learned from them can bless other peoples lives.

Yours,

Chelsea